Parenting teenagers can be a rollercoaster. It’s a time of immense growth and change, not just for the young person, but for the entire family. Hormonal surges, the quest for independence, peer pressure, and the simple act of figuring out their identity can lead to behaviours that parents find baffling, stressful, or even hurtful. While this is often a normal part of adolescence, it doesn’t make it any less challenging for parents and foster carers. The good news is you’re not alone, and a wealth of support systems are available to help you navigate these exciting but often turbulent years.
This article will explore the various support systems available to parents and foster carers of teenagers in the UK and provide guidance on how to access them.
Why Support is Crucial
The brain of a teenager is in a phase of active development, especially the prefrontal cortex, an area vital for making decisions and managing impulsive behaviour. This, combined with hormonal changes, can mean teenagers may seem more emotional than logical, aloof, moody, or keen to spend more time alone or with friends. They might reject your attempts at conversation or affection, and feel misunderstood. It’s a confusing time for them, and it can be equally perplexing and exhausting for parents.
For foster carers, the challenges can be amplified. Teenagers in foster care may have experienced trauma, neglect, or instability, which can manifest in complex emotional and behavioural needs. They may require additional support to build self-worth, confidence, and the skills needed for a positive future.
Recognising that these behaviours are often part of a natural developmental process, or a response to past experiences, is the first step. However, understanding doesn’t always equate to knowing how to cope. This is where support systems become invaluable, offering guidance, a listening ear, and practical strategies.
Types of Support Available
Support for parents and foster carers of teenagers comes in many forms:
- Information and Advice Services: Numerous organisations provide free, reliable information and advice on a wide range of parenting and teenage issues. This can include understanding teenage development, managing challenging behaviour, dealing with specific concerns like anxiety or online safety, and navigating the emotional impact on parents.
- Helplines and Online Chat: Sometimes, you just need to talk to someone who understands. Confidential helplines and online chat services offer immediate emotional support and practical advice from trained professionals or experienced volunteers.
- Parenting Programmes and Courses: These structured programmes can equip parents and carers with new skills and strategies for managing challenging behaviour, improving communication, and building positive relationships with their teenagers. Some courses may be available online or via text message.
- Support Groups and Forums: Connecting with other parents and foster carers who are going through similar experiences can be incredibly reassuring and empowering. Online forums and local support groups provide a safe space to share concerns, exchange tips, and feel less isolated.
- Counselling and Therapy: If you or your teenager are struggling significantly, professional counselling or therapy can provide more intensive support. This could be individual therapy for the teenager, family therapy, or counselling for the parents/carers to help them cope with stress and develop effective strategies.
- Support from Schools and Local Authorities: Schools often have pastoral support systems and can be a key point of contact if you have concerns about your teenager’s well-being or behaviour. Local authorities also provide children’s services, which can include needs assessments and family support. Early help services aim to provide support before problems escalate.
Avenues to Explore
Knowing where to look for support is key:
Your Fostering Agency (for Foster Carers)
This should be your first port of call. Fostering agencies have a responsibility to provide comprehensive foster parent support. This includes regular supervision from a social worker, access to training, out-of-hours support, peer support networks, and potentially respite care. They can also link you to specialist services like counselling or mediation if needed. Independent fostering agencies often highlight their extensive support and training resources. Your agency caseworker will be your day-to-day contact for support regarding the care of the child.
National Charities and Helplines
Family Lives: Offers a confidential helpline, online chat, email support, online forums, and parenting courses. They specialise in supporting families through all aspects of family life.
YoungMinds: Provides a confidential parents’ helpline for concerns about a child’s mental health, as well as online resources and information.
Action for Children: Offers parenting programmes, online advice (Parent Talk), and local services for families, including support for foster and adoptive parents.
Barnardo’s: Works directly with children, young people, and families, offering a range of services including parenting support and resources for teenagers.
Relate: Provides relationship advice and counselling, including support for family life and parenting.
NSPCC: Provides a 24/7 helpline for advice, support, and to report concerns about a child’s safety.
Your GP: If you have concerns about your teenager’s physical or mental health, or your own, your GP is a good starting point. They can provide advice and refer you to specialist services like Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services (CAMHS) if necessary.
Online Searches and Forums: Websites like Mumsnet offer information, advice, and active discussion forums for parents. Searching for specific issues or local support groups can also yield helpful results.
Taking Care of Yourself
Parenting a teenager can be demanding, and it’s crucial to look after your own well-being. Make time for yourself, allow yourself to relax, and don’t hesitate to talk about your concerns with your partner, friends, or a support group. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, stressed, anxious, or depressed, speak to your GP. Foster carers, in particular, need to be mindful of the emotional demands of their role and utilise the support offered by their agency, including respite care if needed.
The teenage years are a period of significant transition, bringing both joys and challenges. Whether you are a parent or a foster carer, remember that support is available and you don’t have to navigate this journey alone. From fostering agencies dedicated to supporting their carers, to national charities offering expert advice and a listening ear, to local community resources, help is at hand. By understanding the needs of teenagers and knowing where to find the right support, you can create a positive environment that helps them thrive as they move towards adulthood.
